Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Your cock deserves a montage
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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