guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
