and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
