I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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