i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website