I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
