I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
