I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize