I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
