I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize