The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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