i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
