apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
being pregnant is like rehab
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
