Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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