Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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