dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
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Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
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Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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