the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
