I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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