She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
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I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
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I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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