i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
