woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.