I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
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i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
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i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.