____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction