So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
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tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
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Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.