apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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