WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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