I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
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