ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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