What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
there was a trapeze. enough said
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
