Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
