That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
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He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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