sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
