He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
