I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
