dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
