You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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