I wanna bring you to show and tell
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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