Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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