we have officially lost it.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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