obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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