I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
