one two three fourrrrnication!
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
