$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
