You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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