I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
