i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize
