I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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