How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
