She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
