We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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