is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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