Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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