yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
