this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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