But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
