I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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