dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize