that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
