i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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