should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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