You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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