Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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