So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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